RA and work

I was just reading through some blogs and Pollyanna's post about RA and work made me realise something crazy.

There's been a lot of crazy stuff going on at my work, basically there's a restructure of the department and a lot of people aren't happy and are leaving, including all my old bosses.

This means that in a month's time no one in the company apart from my best friends will know I have RA. And no one on the management team will have seen me break down and cry about it.

This is very strange. It's like someone's wiping the slate and now it's my choice if I am to tell the new managers.

How odd. I'm gonna have to think about that one.

Back home

I'm baaaaack! Paris was great. I'll do a longer post with pics soon. I am so determined to get fluent with my French now. I'm ok at it but nowhere near perfect. I've been really inspired to work harder in my class and beyond. I'm bilingual anyway (English and Bulgarian - most random combination) but would love to speak 3 languages, it sounds much more impressive haha. Plus then I could go work in Paris or Montreal or somewhere with nicer weather anyway.

Thankfully my arthritis only gave me minimal foot bother despite the mamoth walking around the city. I got a bit grumpy one evening when my foot suddenly piped up and people were like 'oooh lets walk all the way from the notre dame to the eiffel tower down the river' (this was about 8pm after about 7 hours of sightseeing anyway). Thankfully we decided to take the metro in the end, phew! I didnt bring up my RA, it's always so awkward with fit friends isn't it? Hard to understand/explain too because the day before I'd walked all day no problems. Overall though, very well behaved. Well done, RA.

I did, however, manage to get a massive finger infection from a hangnail!! I'm such a doofus, I pulled it off and was too busy enjoying myself so I ignored it and didnt clean it and it went wild. It feels swollen exactly like a flare in the end joint of my finger only it's near the nail and not the joint. So now it's gone green and I'm on anti-biotics. STUPID FINGERS why won't you ever be NORMAL?!

Apart from that, life is just keeps on rolling... Hope you're all keeping well!

Human Planet

I don't know if any of you are UK based but if you have access to it I highly recommend watching the BBC's new documentary series The Human Planet.



Each episode focuses on a different climate zone or area, such as Deserts, Mountains, the Arctic, etc and on the ways in which humans have learnt to interact with the nature around them in order to survive in those harsh environments.

The cinematography is so gorgeous and the lengths to which the production teams have gone to get the footage is incredible:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HiUMlOz4UQ

At the end of each episode there is a 10 minute 'behind the scenes' short, explaining how they shot one of the sequences from the episode. As some of you might know, I am a photographer/videographer so it all fascinates me. I work in the slightly less exciting world of fashion online retail, but I would love to work on something like that one day. Or maybe I wouldn't! I'm not sure my arthritis would agree with some of these enviroments and the long days spent lugging gear around. But you never know...

Wheel of fortune

I know I've only had RA for a year and a bit, but so far it seems I don't get 'acute' episodes, but instead my flares and remissions build up gradually for a while and then subside gradually. Because of this, I almost don't notice it happening for a long time.

The past month I've felt pretty great. The morning stiffness in my hands is all but gone, my foot flares have become very minor and infrequent. I've been managing long walks with no problems. I haven't felt this well since September. Yet it's taken me about a month to realise this. It's strange how it takes your mind a wee while to catch up with your body. I'm still waking up and squeezing my hands to get them moving. I'm still expecting that a long walk will cause my toes to swell. When it doesn't, I'm surprised even though it hasnt happened for weeks.

It also took me a while to realise I was flaring back in October. My brain sort of didnt believe it for ages because I was used to being well for months before that. I was surprised at the stiffness in my hands back then, just as I am surprised by their lack of it just now. I can't quite believe I'm feeling better and I think it will take at least a few more weeks of this for my mind to quite grasp it. I don't know why I'm better, and of course I am terrified it won't be for long. But still, I am hopeful that it might be the start of a long good patch!

Here Comes the Sun

Little darling
It's been a long, cold, lonely winter
Little darling
It feels like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's alright

Little darling
The smiles returning to the faces
Little darling
It seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's alright

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes

Little darling
I see the ice is slowly melting
Little darling
It seems like years since it's been clear

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun and i say,
It's alright...


Come on, sun. Please come back. I'm singing my sun song and I might even attempt a sun dance. Does anyone care to join me?

hmmm

Work, work, work.

Cook, cook, cook.

Tv, tv, tv.

Sleep, sleep, sleep.

So bored, can't wait for my trip to Paris! 2 weeks...

Check up

I had my 3 month check up today. It was very busy so I had to wait almost 45 minutes to be seen and I forgot to bring a book which left me having to stare at things/people in the waiting room the whole time. I like to get in and out of there as quickly as possible because to be honest the place depresses me. I'm always the youngest person there, occasionally there is someone in their 30s or 40s but it's mostly middle aged or elderly ladies. I know they must have young patients too but in the 10 or so times I've been to the clinic I've never seen one! A lot of people shuffle about or use walking sticks and some have visible deformities.

I don't like going there because it scares me.

I also don't like going there because they weigh me every time and today they informed me that I have put on 3kg since october!! Stupid Christmas weight. I resolved to sort that out but then I was so depressed from being in the hospital that I had to buy some chocolate to cheer myself up. It's a vicous circle, I tell you!

Anyway, I didn't get to see Dr A, I guess because it was so busy. I had a young, pretty registrar instead which was nice! She said the same thing as Dr A, that it's not too clear if I need methotrexate or not. I am in a good prognostic category and I dont have any swelling just now but there is intermittent activity (like the mad pointer finger in dec) so obviously it's not all under control. What they're gonna do is send me for new x-rays since it's been a year since the last ones. If there's any change at all they'll stick me on mtx. If there's nothing and my symptoms continue as they are then we'll probably just wait...and see.

So I have to go back and get an xray at some point before my next check up in May. I'd be quite surprised if there was any change in my xrays since I havent had a great deal of pain/swelling but I know it is possible for that to happen.

So yeah.. long rambling post. But in summary - hospital waiting rooms are evil, I need to lose 3kg, I can still drink until at least May and I have to get zapped by the radioactive machine again. Overall...alright I suppose.