Guilt

I recently wrote a post about how I'm always on the go.

I've been thinking about that a lot, and this Tuesday I got a pretty bad head cold and couldn't sleep all night. Now, that I can usually deal with but as luck would have it the next day I had an important work trip to London that I just couldn't miss. This meant getting 2 flights in one day on no sleep (which were VERY painful due to the air pressure causing chaos in my blocked ears and sinuses) and the day itself was generally very busy and I was on my feet, carrying lots of film equipment with barely any breaks.

I got back home about 11pm last night, with ears and sinuses blocked and painful and I just felt beat. This morning I felt a bit better after some sleep, but still not 100%. Usually, I would just push past this and drag myself to work. But this time was different.

As it so happens, when arthritis hit me last year it was just after a work trip to London. I, again, hadn't slept much, been travelling and then gone back to work straight away. Then I'd spent the following few days stressed for a deadline, staying back late at work.

I don't know for sure if that week's exhaustion/stress helped bring on the arthritis, but I am certainly NOT going to take that chance again.

I'm doing very well arthritis-wise lately and I'm going to do all I can to keep it that way. I know that resting won't necessarily protect me from a flare, but it sure as hell can't hurt.

So yes. I took the day off. I slept for 10 hours and am now having breakfast in bed made by my flatmate.

And I feel better and will be back to work tomorrow, refreshed.

I haven't taken a sick day in the 18 months I've worked there, even during the arthritis diagnosis and initial flare. I think I made the right choice today, but why oh why do I still feel so guilty??