I've been posting a lot lately but I guess with this flare RA is really on my mind.
Lately I've been thinking about positivity and my own attitude towards life. I am not a positive person and never have been. I seem to always worry about things and assume the worst will happen, even though most of the time things tend to work out ok and my life is pretty amazing apart from the RA.
So I guess it's a mystery why I am so fortunate in many ways, yet I remain a pessimist. I try hard to overcome this as I feel it's causing me endless hours of misery which are self inflicted and unnecessary. I also project a very strong, happy image of myself and unless you know me well you would think I was a very outgoing, cheerful person. In reality I spend a lot of my 'alone' time stewing over things and generally being a grumpy git.
To be fair, in the last year I know I've changed in the way that I dont tend to worry or stew over the 'little' things as much. That is one positive change. But instead I spend my days worrying about my disease. I feel this is especially true in the winter where I have less motivation to go out and do things to distract myself. The last couple of months I've really felt myself sinking back into a bit of a depression although not nearly as bad as when I was diagnosed.
I think with RA in my life, I really need to work on this and find a way to change. So much easier said than done. I need to stop seeing things in black and white. I also need to stop throwing myself pity parties and think less about myself. When I start thinking these types of 'negative' thoughts I need to somehow be able to cut myself off and do something else.
Has anyone else struggled with this? I know everyone with RA struggles with worries about the future, how could we not? But some are just positive people naturaly and perhaps others have life experience which has taught them how to be positive. I hope I can become the latter. Any ideas how??