I've been posting a lot lately but I guess with this flare RA is really on my mind.
Lately I've been thinking about positivity and my own attitude towards life. I am not a positive person and never have been. I seem to always worry about things and assume the worst will happen, even though most of the time things tend to work out ok and my life is pretty amazing apart from the RA.
So I guess it's a mystery why I am so fortunate in many ways, yet I remain a pessimist. I try hard to overcome this as I feel it's causing me endless hours of misery which are self inflicted and unnecessary. I also project a very strong, happy image of myself and unless you know me well you would think I was a very outgoing, cheerful person. In reality I spend a lot of my 'alone' time stewing over things and generally being a grumpy git.
To be fair, in the last year I know I've changed in the way that I dont tend to worry or stew over the 'little' things as much. That is one positive change. But instead I spend my days worrying about my disease. I feel this is especially true in the winter where I have less motivation to go out and do things to distract myself. The last couple of months I've really felt myself sinking back into a bit of a depression although not nearly as bad as when I was diagnosed.
I think with RA in my life, I really need to work on this and find a way to change. So much easier said than done. I need to stop seeing things in black and white. I also need to stop throwing myself pity parties and think less about myself. When I start thinking these types of 'negative' thoughts I need to somehow be able to cut myself off and do something else.
Has anyone else struggled with this? I know everyone with RA struggles with worries about the future, how could we not? But some are just positive people naturaly and perhaps others have life experience which has taught them how to be positive. I hope I can become the latter. Any ideas how??
I try to be really positive, but you're right, it gets really tough. I try to think about the fact that people have it worse, but then that leads to other people with RA having it worse and possibilities for me...
ReplyDeleteI tend to think like a little kid, so maybe that helps? I think you need to play more games :)
Haha perhaps.. you're right I need a shorter attention span. When I start thinking about something I think about it for ages and can't stop.
ReplyDeleteIt's not easy, positive thinking is a practice and it requires that you have a certain mental attitude. It has taken me a long time, but I no longer let things stress me out like they would have 10 years ago. RA creates a lot of stressful situations in our life. And since stress causes increased sensitivity to pain, it is just one big circle that seems like it will never end. I don't think about where I'm going to be in 5 or 10 years any longer, I just live life one day at a time now.
ReplyDeleteFor a naturally grumpy person, I am fairly positive about my RA. I must admit I don't think about the future of my RA body a whole lot. I guess I was in a flare the other day when I thought (maybe for the first time) what my body would be like when I am an elderly woman and kind of freaked out about all the potential damage and extra pain. Then I totally calmed myself down when I thought of all the rockin' surgeries I would have had by then, and all the new advances they'll make in the next few years.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what it is. I think I have accepted that it is a part of my life and I just need to deal with it. I'm also really good at distracting myself: t.v., movies, and good fiction all whisk me away out of my body for a little while :)