Tuesday, 30 November 2010
Tomorrow is my 1 year RA anniversary. 1 year ago exactly, I was a totally normal healthy 23 year old.
How bloody depressing.
I remember waking up on the 1st december with these 2 strange swollen knuckles and thinking a big spider or something had bitten me during the night.
I remember the absolute terror and depression which gripped me for the next few months after discovering that I had a chronic uncurable disease.
It was horrible, just horrible. As I'm sure you all know yourselves.
Where am I at 1 year later? A lot calmer, for sure, even though the whole thing still really gets me down if I stop and think about it.
Most of the horrible fears I had last December haven't come true. I deal with some symptoms most days but I generally feel alright and my life is pretty much the same as it was last year.
I've had a good year, I've travelled to many new places and had a lot of fun with my friends and family.
I've met some incredible people through Arthritis Care who have helped me face my condition head on.
I set myself a physical challenge in doing the charity cycle, and I succeeded.
I'm looking forward to Christmas, knowing it will be a LOT better than the last. It can't possibly be any worse!!
Unfortunately I think the hydroxychloriquine is doing bugger all for me. My symptoms are mild and come and go but I think that's just my disease because nothing's changed since I started the drug 4 and a half months ago. No better, no worse. The sulfa didn't agree with me, so I'm starting to try and come to terms with the fact that I might have to try a low dose of methotrexate in the new year. This is something I have to mull over the next couple of months before my check up at the end of January and I need to come to a decision together with my doctors. I know that the decision will be to try it because I really want to continue living my life well. But I need a little while to get used to the idea.
This reality would've scared the hell out of me a year ago. And it still does, but I feel stronger now.
So, happy anniversary, RA. I will continue to fight you and hope you go to sleep for a very long time so that next year, I won't even remember it's our anniversary.