Update on last post

Well, things aren't looking good. Another one of my girlfriend's fingers has swollen up and we went to the out of hours doctor today who was pretty useless - gave her some Naproxen and told her to make an appointment with her GP. So I'm going to go with her on Tuesday.

I'm feeling pretty crappy right now. All the emotions I went through when I was diagnosed - anger, sadness, frustration. All the 'why's' and 'what if's'. And bless her, she's trying to be all upbeat about it and even comforting me because she can see that I'm worried. I just don't want any of this for her - the medication, the tests, the constant visits to the hospital, the pain, the uncertainty. It breaks my heart to think of someone I care so much about going through this.

Ugh. I just have to try and stay strong for her but it's so hard. Why has this happened? What are the chances?? Why is this illness following me???? I can't escape it, however much I try.

Also, I've been fairly lucky and my arthritis has so far been mild. What are the chances of her being as lucky???

Worrying about others

As much as I tend to be a worrier when it comes to my own state of health, it is so much worse to be worried about a loved one. About a month and a half ago my girlfriend mentioned that she had some weird swelling in one of her knuckles on her left hand. She couldn't remember hitting it anywhere even though she is incredibly clumsy! Due to this high level of clumsiness I hoped that she'd just banged it and had forgotten. It seemed to go away and I didn't ask about it again. Yesterday she said it had swollen up again and showed me. Now, I know as an RA patient any time anyone mentions the words 'swelling' and 'joint' I will immediately diagnose them with inflammatory arthritis. It might not be that. However, as I found out when my symptoms started in a knuckle on my hand 3 years ago, there really aren't that many other explanations for such a swollen joint. Believe me, I looked for them very hard in the beginning. Surely though, the chances of us both having RA are minuscule, especially in our 20s!!!!

There must be something else going on. Surely.

She is also the worst person for going to the doctor so I doubt I'll be able to persuade her unless it becomes very painful or spreads. It doesn't seem to be very bothersome at the moment but it does look exactly as you would expect an RA-inflamed knuckle to look. I really, really, really hope there is some other explanation for this, although I don't know what that could be.