Sunday 12 February 2012

Bah

I need to get out of this funk. I'm starting to feel really flat and teary, just wanting to stay in bed on days off. Generally moping and feeling sad. My hand and feet are still playing up. I'm not sure if it's worth calling my rheumatologist for a steroid injection into the finger joint. Maybe next week, see how it goes. Maybe things will turn around on their own. Blah blah blah blah. I'm so sick of this. I really thought I was better, but I guess there is no such thing with RA. Sorry to be so negative, I think I just need to rant. I haven't really spoken to anyone about how I'm feeling just now, because I have been so well for ages and ages and I don't want to drag people down with my problems again. Thing is, I have a new girlfriend.. well, not that new. Almost 5 months now. And I really should tell her what I'm going through (she knows I have RA but doesn't really know the ins and outs of it). Again though, I hate dragging people down with my stuff and I know if I start talking about it the tears will come flowing out. I'm not sure 5 months is long enough to burden someone with this heavy stuff.

4 comments:

  1. Wish I could make it all go away for you. And you go ahead and rant away! You deserve it. It is hard for others to understand what we go through with these drat diseases...so rant away. There are days I wish I had the strength to beat the you no what out of something just to relieve some of the stress of having to live with the pain. My heart goes out to you as I do get it!

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  2. Sharing is a good thing Squirrel. Don't be afraid of it. Sending a gentle hug for you and thinking positive thoughts for you.

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  3. Lovely, don't feel like a burden. Chances are, your GF has noticed things here and there, even subconsciously. I think that, when you're ready, you might find that she's accepting about it. I let my BF know pretty early on - within the first week, if not our first date. It turns out it was the best thing I ever did. Him wanting to learn more about my disease and what was going on in my body and my head led me to blogging, and to all of you wonderful people.

    And he's been around for 4 and a half years now, with a pretty solid plan to stick around for the rest of forever (unofficially).

    So you might be surprised what happens. A lot of good can come from sharing. Oh! And might I suggest the Spoon Theory as a good way to start?

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  4. Thanks everyone! I had a much better day today, much less symptoms and I feel brighter in spirit too. I had a great day out with my girlfriend yesterday which really cheered me up. I was going to speak to her about my slump, but just being out and about made me feel much better so I decided not to go into it just now. I think you're right KirBir, she probably knows I'm having a bit of a tough time anyway but sometimes no words are needed and a hug just works wonders. Anyway, thanks for listening to my rant. Onwards and upwards!

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